:: A NEED OR A WANT? ::

These are two major questions in my head lately: is it a need or a want? What is the fine line? Where is the fine line?

I was so exhausted yesterday and today since I went to three job interviews in Makati and Ortigas. Today was only my 'fifth job hunt day' post-Carrier yet I felt so drained and pooped. The job market has been pretty generous to me with left & right opportunities knocking at my doorsteps. I already had seven call outs since I resigned two weeks ago. They are all acceptable jobs which I can actually consider. Not bad, huh? BUT I am just too lazy and not eager to attend the screenings. Which is kinda surprising considering that I made a career out of my career hunt last year (check out my May-July archives). I just don't know about now. Maybe I don't want to fall in a trap and over-extend myself again. Maybe I am just saving my remaining moolahs before I dial 911 to my parents. Maybe I am expecting too much. Maybe I really really want to rest and live the doña life for some more weeks. Maybe I haven't found my possible match yet. Or maybe, it's simply not a want...yet. But, it's definitely a need. It's really weird since I am way poorer and more helpless last year after I resigned from Honda yet I had a sense of well-being and fulfillment in me then. I was not in a rush state to take companies' offers since I would like to wait for my want. My dad was the one who actually persuaded me to take the Carrier offer since he thinks that I need it to keep me from "stagnation" (his word, not mine). Oh well.

At the end of the day, the dying need to work, earn, and to belong to a place where you can contribute something still prevails despite my curent qualms and protests. The need become even more evident when I log in to my on-line bank account and look into my wallet. Hah! Seriously, I've been praying a lot lately about this new chapter that I am about to take. There are so many opportunities and doors that are being opened for me yet I am hesistant to knock and allow myself to go in. I pray that He will lead me to the right direction and path easily. I hope that it will be a shorter travel for me this time. I am actually tired of the agony of waiting and waiting and waiting.

I hope that the need and my want will cross path soon.

It will be a LONG WEEKEND yet I am not excited about it. How can I be when all days are long weekends for me lately. Right, Tin? I know you can relate.